Aliens & Fairies
by UniqueMuffins
Summary: England invites America over for dinner . . . on July 4th? Craziness ensues with this awkward pair, for England can't cook! And hey, is that Canada over there? Yaoi. Oneshot. Requested by twelfbell.


**An EnglandxAmerica fanfic as requested by twelfthbell! ^_^ The pairing wasn't requested, but the idea was. I hope you like it!~**

-qqqqqq-

The date was July 3rd. The time: 1:12 pm. America was in his giant house, surveying a large rectangle table in front of him. Fifty-one different kinds of hamburgers lay on top of it. He gazed proudly at his creations.

"Nothing like a good hamburger, right, Tony?" America said, turning to the little green alien next to him. Tony gave a simple nod in reply.

"They all look so tasty!" America exclaimed. "Too bad I can't eat them all at once."

The bug-eyed alien grabbed one of them and opened his mouth. America quickly took it. "Don't eat it yet! That one's Arkansas flavored.* We'll eat it later." He gazed at his refrigerator. "I suppose I should put them in there or they'll go bad."

Without success, America tried shoving the entire table into the fridge. "Urk! Why won't it go in?"

"U-um... America…," a quiet voice spoke up.

"What? Who's there?" America looked around frantically for the perpetrator. He was sure he'd locked all the doors.

"It's me…Canada," Canada murmured, standing next to America. He was clutching Kumajiro tightly, as if he were hiding behind it.

"Oh, it's just you Canada! Didn't see you there. What's up?"

"Um…." He hesitated. Today he would tell him. Tell him he was tired for being mistaken for him. How he, Canada, was always compared to such an obnoxious country. How the cause of the majority of his problems was him. Then, his life would be at peace. He had all the words in his head. But as he looked more and more at America's carefree face…and thought about how scary such a seemingly nice country he could be…

"You can't fit a table in a refrigerator."

America blinked, then glanced at the table. He laughed. "That's true! Wow, you're smart, Canada."

Canada blushed. "R-really?"

"Yup, but not smart enough to be a hero. That spot's reserved for the smartest guy around!" America jerked his thumb towards himself. "I'm the hero!"

Canada sighed and mumbled, "And I look like this guy…?" before leaving.

-AaAAaA-

Later that afternoon the phone rang. America ran to it excitedly; after all, nobody but England or Japan ever called him, and they did rarely.

"Hello, America here!"

"Hey, America. It's England," came England's tired voice from the other end.

"England-nii-chaaan!"**

"Be quiet, you twit! I'm not your big brother."

America frowned. "So, what did you call for?"

England sighed. "Well, I have a bit of a hangover so I'm not exactly sure if I'm thinking right. But tomorrow, I was wondering if you wanted to come over here for dinner?"

Confused but elated, America tilted his head. The 4th of July was tomorrow; for Americans it was typically a day for celebration and fireworks, but he didn't know about England. Maybe… he wanted to make up?

Noticing America's hesitation, England said, "Look, you don't have to do a thing; just show up."

"But don't you hate me for what I did…"

England was confused. He couldn't recall anything America particularly did to him; anything he hated him for (albeit his usual annoyingness). "Um, no?"

Figuring everything would be clearer when he went over there, America said, "Okay, nii-chan! See you tomorrow."

On the other side, England groaned ass the phone beeped loudly, a signal America had hung up. He put the phone down and mumbled to himself, "Oh bloody hell, what have I gotten myself into?"

-EeEeEeeeE-

England looked at the table he'd set. He'd been cooking since he got up in the morning, yet little turned out to be edible by humans. He managed to create something that looked alright, or so he thought. The table was set perfectly; yet he wondered how things would go once the food was brought out…

All the other countries knew England couldn't cook. Briefly he wondered if in a moment of stupidity America had forgotten that.

The doorbell rang a high pitched _ding-dong_.

Opening it, England found America grinning like an idiot. He invited him in and showed him to the table.

America blinked, looking at the table, confused. "Why is it set for five people?"

England said nonchalantly, "Oh, well those two chairs are for us, and the other three are for Tinker Bell, Captai—," he stopped as he saw America giving him a scared look. "Uh, well, if you don't like company I suppose it can just be the two of us." With that England took away three of the chairs so only two that were side by side were left.

America sat in one, warily looking around for England's supposed imaginary creatures. England arrived back from the kitchen a few minutes later with a covered platter. He placed it in front of them. Lifting the top off, America stared in horror at what was beneath. A blackish-blue blob sat bubbling on the tray, twitching. The grotesque thing smelled like a mixture of expired raw meat, burnt vegetables, and sour milk.

"W-what…," America stuttered, "is that…?"

"Lobster," England replied. "I don't know if it's all the way dead yet, but I made sure to put extra sauce on it and cast a death chant. This was one of the only ones that didn't smell like shit."

It didn't smell_ terrible_; it just smelled _bad_. America's stomach ached, however, as he remembered the last thing England had cooked. He couldn't recall exactly what it was, but he remembered the taste of rotten eggs and a sick bitterness.

England saw America shake, the fear plain on his face. England grew flustered. "I know its not hamburgers, but if you don't want to eat it you shouldn't have come in the first place!"

Swallowing, America shook his head. "N-no….It l-looks d-delicious…." He stabbed a precarious piece with his fork.

England sighed. "Ah, bloody hell. You don't have to eat that. I know I can't cook." He took a side glance at America. "Why are you trying so hard? Normally I'd have to tie you down and force you to eat it."

"England invited me here today, on July 4th, even though I know he hates me for what I did then," America said, dropping his fork. "I have to be nice if you're trying to be. I mean, normally you seem like you have something shoved up your ass all the time."

Oh. He'd completely forgotten what today's date was. And although America did hurt him that day… England felt his face grow red, and he was angry that he didn't know why. Closing his eyes, he said, "It's not that it's particularly rare for me to be nice. And it's not that I particularly like you or anything. If you don't like it, you can—"

Something warm and soft pressed into his lips.

Quickly, he opened his eyes and saw America's stupid face.

"You're so obviously silly, nii-chan!" he chuckled.

"D-don't call me that after you do something so profound!" England stumbled backwards and fell on his back. America, with a small grin, sat on top of him.

"G-get off me, you twit!" This is awkward, England thought. This is queer. Yet… isn't this what I wanted? Why I invited him over in the first place?"

"Aw, England's blushing!" America exclaimed, leaning close to England's face. England's heart smacked harder into his ribcage.

Suddenly, the front door burst open, and someone entered the room. "America!" Canada said loudly, with confidence. "I'm sick and tired of being mistaken for—," he stopped and gazed, dumbfounded, at the awkward pair. "Am I interrupting something?"

America got off of England and stood up. "Hey, Canada. Did you need something?"

"Way to go, America! Now Canada is afraid of us," England scolded.

"You know you liked it~," America teased.

As the two continued to bicker, Canada faded into the background. "Maybe next time…," he mumbled. "Yeah, next time for sure…." He left.

"Listen," England sighed. "I invited you here because I… Well, I think…"

"Like I said." America grinned. "You're obvious and silly. I get it, nii-chan."

"Stop calling me nii-chan!" he exclaimed. "It makes it creepy."

"You know, I think you like it."

England's face grew red. "Tch. Yeah, right."

-EAEAeaeaEA-

Later that night, America was yet again the hero. Canada, who instead of leaving before had hid in England's closet (?) was scarred for life by the noises of the night.

Although their relationship had an awkward start, they lived happily ever after. Except for France, of course, who still wanted to marry England.

-EEEEEaaaaAAAeee-

**Thanks for reading! Reviews, good and bad, are welcomed. And SEi, I'm sorry it took so long to write ;_; for some reason finding a pairing was hard, though it shouldn't have been.**

***Now that you know the burgers are state-flavored, I'd like to clarify why it's 51 if there are 50 states; I wanted to include Puerto Rico ;D**

****The only reason I made America call England 'big brother' in Japanese is because I thought it was cute xD**


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